23-07-2020
04:24
The Time of My Life
After finally gaining more time, Cate has realised how important it is. She now has time to reflect and enjoy and question why she was under pressure before.
“Well-being” is a phrase heard on the lips of many at the moment. We discuss strategies, life hacks, ways to make room… For what? For… living? Are we genuinely struggling to find room & energy in our lives for actual LIVING?! Lockdown has given me a gift. An opportunity to experience a simple life. Having stepped away from teaching state schools, I find myself with an excess of that most luxury of possessions: time. Time to ponder and wonder. Time to read and write freely. Time to unwind the decades old knots of fear, accountability and failure that have gnarled my self-esteem. Time to work out who I am rather than being “Miss Knight”. Time to breathe and appreciate the world as it evolves and changes around me. It is in this time that I have come to the realisation that we are small. Tiny pieces in an enormous game. Our daily stress and turmoil amounts to very little in the grand scheme of things. Our lives are the faintest flicker of flame that disappears leaving barely a mark. So why do we spend these precious moments wrapped in the misery of the expectations of others? Why do we not simply live our best lives? I have worries still, My family, my health, my friends, my finances, but I have the time now to prioritise these. I am learning to savour the minutes with my father walking in the garden discussing plants. I bask in the evening spent with my mother, trying out her quiz questions or laughing uproariously about some daft advert or piece of gossip. I revel in the silences I allow myself. Moments where I listen to the birds, the hum of a mower, the steady beat of my heart. This is living. I will hold these moments with me for the rest of my transient life. They will comfort me as I age. I am just sad that I realised so late in life what living was actually for. Don’t allow the pressures & negativity of the world to invade your ability to really LIVE. Take the time, not just so you have the energy to continue working, but because it is yours. It is your life. Your time. You do not owe it to an unseen accountant measuring our productivity. You owe it to yourself.
