10 Tips for Supporting our Colleagues in Perimenopause or Menopause.

The classroom can be a tough place to experience peri/menopause.

The lack of flexibility in place and time means you can’t nip out to the loo when you need to – or to cool down or calm down! The job puts a lot of pressure on us and demands our memory, organisation, and emotional regulation. It can also be a physical job. So when there are hot flushes, brain fog, memory loss, mood swings and all sorts of aches and pains we never even knew were possible, it’s tough.

We’re actually pretty good at soldiering on, but knowing we have our colleagues’ support can make everything feel so much easier! Here are some ideas to help:

1. Take the time to learn about it. But don’t worry, you don’t need to be an expert. Peri/menopause is so varied that the only real expert is the person going through it. Take your lead from them.
2. Let people talk about it when they need to. If you’re very definitely not a peri/menopausal person, you might find that conversations dry up when you approach, but try to find a way to signal that you’re ok with it.
3. Equally, not everyone wants to talk about it. Honestly, sometimes it seems to dominate our lives and we’re relieved to talk about something else.
4. If someone does want to talk about it, listen. Ask questions that are open and curious, but not intrusive.
5. Ask them what they need.
6. If you can, do small practical things. Switching duties or keeping an eye on someone’s class while they pop to the loo.
7. Sometimes our memories can fail us. Please remember that this is just a very specific form of hormonal memory loss. Our competence is not affected. Just be patient and it will come back to us.
8. Stress becomes harder to manage. We might need a little more ‘me’ time than usual, so we might not be as available as before. Give us space if we need it.
9. Jokes about menopause can be well-meant but land wrongly. Emotionally, perimenopause can be extremely challenging – and we’ve probably spent most of our lives having our valid thoughts and feelings dismissed as ‘time of the month’. Read the room.
10. Try not to put us on the spot with information or requests. Our menopausal memory can fail us and then we feel rubbish. Find out if it helps to send emails or if there’s a good time to pick up the conversation with us.

While we are going through a big transition, and working to manage some really challenging symptoms, we’re still ourselves. We’re still going to rock up and do a good job – and we really know our stuff by now! We still care about the same things (and people), talk about the same things and laugh about the same things, with your support.  

The author

Helen Clare

Helen Clare helps schools and their staff deal with challenges that arise due to perimenopause and menopause through presentations, workshops, courses and mentoring and policy and strategy support. An ex-biology teacher and life-long biology geek, she has also worked in schools as a poet and artist and as part of her work for Creative Partnerships and Arts Council England. Helen is an ICF trained coach and an associate of the British Menopause Society.

http://www.menopauseinschools