Supporting Pupils’ Emotional Regulation

In today’s classrooms, emotional regulation is increasingly recognised as a cornerstone of effective learning and behaviour. In our role as teachers, we are not only educators but also emotional guides, helping pupils navigate the complex landscape of feelings, reactions, and relationships. This post explores practical strategies for developing pupils’ emotional regulation, with a focus on self-awareness, co-regulation, and responsive teaching.

Before we can support pupils, we must first understand what emotional regulation entails. Whilst more recent ‘buzz words’, Emotional and self-regulation, have been present in literature and research for over 20 years.  According to Thompson (1994), it involves both intrinsic and extrinsic processes that monitor and modify emotional reactions to achieve goals. It’s about helping children manage “the emotions they have, when they have them, and how they experience and express them” (Gross, 1998).

Self-regulation, a related concept, refers to the ability to control thoughts, feelings, and actions in pursuit of personal goals (Zimmerman, 2000). In the classroom, this manifests as pupils being able to focus attention, manage stress, and engage positively with peers and teachers (Blair & Raver, 2015).

So how do we support pupils’ self-regulation? Emotional literacy is the foundation of regulation. The Education Endowment Foundation (EEF, 2021) defines Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) as the process through which children learn to understand and manage emotions, set goals, show empathy, build relationships, and make responsible decisions.

To teach SEL effectively:

• Self-awareness: Expand pupils’ emotional vocabulary and encourage expression.

• Self-regulation: Teach calming strategies like deep breathing or positive self-talk.
• Social awareness: Use stories to explore others’ emotions and perspectives.
• Relationship skills: Role-play communication and listening.
• Decision-making: Practice problem-solving in real-life scenarios.

These skills should be taught both in dedicated sessions and embedded across the curriculum—literacy, drama, PE, and history all offer rich opportunities.

Modelling and Reinforcing SEL

We all know that children learn from role models, and it is important that as teachers we follow the ‘do as I do’, not just the do as I say. By modelling the emotional behaviours we want pupils to adopt, including sharing when we are feeling a certain way and how it impacts how we think and feel, we can be key role models for the pupils.  To support pupils, we can:

• Use calm, consistent language.
• Demonstrate empathy and patience.
• Give specific praise when pupils show emotional awareness.
• Avoid reliance on “crisis moments” to teach regulation- proactive teaching is key.

Group work and classroom discussions are ideal for reinforcing SEL through simple ground rules and reflective questioning.

Helping Pupils Name and Understand Emotions

One powerful strategy is helping pupils identify and name their emotions. This involves:

• Recognising external cues (e.g., facial expressions, body language).
• Asking reflective questions: e.g. “How does your body feel when you’re angry?”
• Encouraging pupils to describe emotions in their own words.
• Using visual aids, drawings, or role-play to explore feelings.

This process helps pupils build emotional vocabulary and understand that feelings vary across individuals and situations.

Scripting Responses to Dysregulation

When pupils become unable to self-regulate, scripted responses can help de-escalate and guide them back to regulation. A typical script might include:

1. Identify and name the behaviour: “I can see that you’re upset because…(insert observed behaviour here)”.
2. State what needs to happen next: “I need you to sit quietly next to me for a moment.”
3. Provide time and space to re-regulate: Offer a safe space and check in.
4. Reflect and plan for next time: “What could you do differently next time?”

These scripts can be adapted to the pupil’s age and context. For younger children, simpler language and more visual cues may be needed. Naming the emotion and identifying the behaviours is always important as it demonstrates that you understand how they are feeling. 

The ‘Roots and Fruits’ Approach

When pupils regularly become dysregulated or are particularly ‘triggered’ by certain situations, the “Roots and Fruits” model can give us a useful perspective.  It encourages us to look beyond surface behaviours (the fruits) and consider the underlying feelings and experiences (the roots). For example, a pupil’s aggression may stem from anxiety, trauma, or unmet needs.

By addressing the roots- through relationship-building, consistent routines, and emotional support- teachers can foster long-term behavioural change rather than short-term compliance. Are we supporting pupils’ behaviour or merely ‘managing it’?

Practical Classroom Strategies

To support emotional regulation in practice:

• Create predictable routines and transitions.
• Use visual timetables and emotion charts.
• Provide sensory tools or calm corners.
• Build strong relationships through consistent, empathetic interactions.
• Collaborate with SENCOs and pastoral teams for tailored support.

Final Thoughts

Developing pupils’ emotional regulation is not a one-off task- it’s a continuous process that requires patience, reflection, and intentional teaching. By embedding SEL into everyday practice, modelling emotional awareness, and responding thoughtfully to dysregulation, we can create classrooms where pupils feel safe, understood, and ready to learn.

As educators, we have the privilege and responsibility to nurture not just academic success, but emotional resilience. Let’s make it a priority.

References:

• Blair, C., & Raver, C. C. (2015). School readiness and self-regulation: a developmental psychobiological approach. Annual review of psychology, 66, 711–731. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010814-015221
• EEF (2021) “Improving Social and Emotional Learning in Primary Schools” https://educationendowmentfoundation.org.uk/education-evidence/guidance-reports/primary-sel 
• Gross, James J. 1998. “The Emerging Field of Emotion Regulation: An Integrative Review.” Review of General Psychology 2(3): 271–299. doi:10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271
• Thompson, R. A. (1994). Emotion regulation: A theme in search of definition. In N. A. Fox (Ed.), The development of emotion regulation: Biological and behavioural aspects. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 59(Serial No. 240), 25-52
• Zimmerman, B. J. (2000). Attaining self-regulation: A social cognitive perspective. In M. Boekaerts, P. R.Pintrich, & M. Zeidner, (Eds.), Handbook of self-regulation (pp. 13-41). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.

The author

Mr T of Mr T's NQT/ECT support

Mr T of @MrTs_NQTs has been an NQT mentor for the past 10 years and has mentored 16 NQTs during that time. These NQTs have ranged in their abilities but have all been supported to make them the best teacher that they can be, drawing on their individual strengths and personalities. He is currently seeking to support a wider range of teachers in their early career through his twitter feed and continue to support as many teachers as he can to achieve what they are truly capable of.